|
|
Post by misilon on Oct 6, 2007 19:34:56 GMT 12
Mrs Ward, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory.
When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a
biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain
which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or
terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the
other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your
husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests
one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off
somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep
with him."
|
|
|
|
Post by misilon on Oct 6, 2007 19:38:46 GMT 12
 why did the boy cross the road to get away from the chicken |
|
|
|
Post by Lux on Oct 6, 2007 19:43:18 GMT 12
Mrs Ward, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible." "What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously. "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's." "That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward. "Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."  Tragic. |
|
|
|
Post by Lux on Oct 6, 2007 20:01:14 GMT 12
What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
He gets taller!
|
|
|
|
Post by bingbong on Oct 6, 2007 20:42:49 GMT 12
Diana, thanks for the boy that crossed the road post that is hilarious, it made me laugh it made me smile and re Mrs Ward I sniggered on that.
|
|
|
|
Post by guest on Oct 6, 2007 20:55:54 GMT 12
Why Men Can't Win
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.
|
|
|
|
Post by misilon on Oct 7, 2007 8:12:53 GMT 12
I gave you a karma george cos I liked your post,.... just so you know,.. everytime a Karma is given the posters profile shows up and I somehow unwittingly pressed all the wrong keys and ended up sending a blumin pm instead ,...sorry,.... but it's all good cheers
|
|
|
|
Post by misilon on Oct 7, 2007 11:34:23 GMT 12
Diana, thanks for the boy that crossed the road post that is hilarious, it made me laugh it made me smile and re Mrs Ward I sniggered on that. Ill say bingbong the young guy made some deadly ninja moves accompanied no doubt by blood curdling sound of roosteradoodledoo!!,...... *giggles* |
|
|
|
Post by misilon on Oct 7, 2007 11:37:03 GMT 12
roosterdoodledoo huh? das a nu one hehe!! blimin inhouse moderating monster
C.ockadoodledoo hehe!! das better
|
|
|
|
Post by misilon on Mar 14, 2008 12:57:48 GMT 12
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."
Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that Was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is a caress'? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.
Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "You've done well, Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.
And Adam said, "Lord, what is a headache?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Lux on Mar 14, 2008 15:45:01 GMT 12
See thats why women are superior, we've always been on to it  |
|
|
|
Post by Lux on Mar 14, 2008 15:45:24 GMT 12
*Chuckle*
|
|
|
|
Post by maire on Mar 14, 2008 18:27:53 GMT 12
 I loved that Adam and Eve one Misi. I'm going to be chuckling away all night now
|
|
|
|
Post by maire on Mar 14, 2008 18:38:22 GMT 12
|
|
|
|
Post by toerag on Mar 14, 2008 21:11:26 GMT 12
Classic Misi on both ;D ;D
Which part of your body goes to heaven first?
The nun teaching Sunday school asks, 'When you die and go to heaven, which part of your body goes first?'
Suzy raises her hand and says, 'I think it's your hand!'
"Why do you think it's your hands Suzy?"
Suzy replies, 'Because when you pray you hold your hands together and God must take your hands first.'
'What a wonderful answer!' The nun said.
Little Roy Sullivan raised his hand and said, 'Sister I think it's you legs!'
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
'Now Roy, why do you think it would be your legs?'
Little Roy said, 'Well, I walked into to mommy and daddy's bedroom the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying 'oh God I'm coming.' If daddy hadn't pinned her down we'd have lost her.'
The nun fainted
|
|
|
|
Post by Lux on Mar 14, 2008 21:31:19 GMT 12
|
|
|
|
Post by misilon on Mar 21, 2008 11:41:33 GMT 12
|
|
|
|
Post by toerag on Mar 21, 2008 22:47:28 GMT 12
ha ha only survived 4 seconds hopeless ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by misilon on Mar 22, 2008 10:43:43 GMT 12
|
|
|
|
Post by misilon on Mar 24, 2008 7:28:55 GMT 12
|
|
|
|
Post by misilon on Mar 27, 2008 13:44:09 GMT 12
Apples and Grapes
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as
good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them,
when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is
brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Share this with women who are good apples, even those who have already been
picked!
Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's
up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something
acceptable to have dinner with.
|
|
|
|
Post by certegy on Mar 29, 2008 14:30:18 GMT 12
Love it misi Leigh  |
|
